Big-Macca241010-11

Hi everyone, it’s me, Noah/Macca. I’m finally back, after almost THREE MONTHS of being banned. It’s been really difficult trying to get my account back. First I tried making a new account with a new email, but my IP address had been blocked. Then I sent an email to a random CC email, but no one replied. The AI support didn’t listen either. Then I made the Lichess account, and fortunately I found someone on there willing to help, even though nothing came from that. And then the AI support finally understood my requests, and for the last month and a half, I have been talking with CC staff trying to get to the bottom of the closure. At first I thought my account got hacked, because of some evidence I had. Then I found some more evidence suggesting that I somehow violated the sportsmanship policy. Then a CC staff member accused me of sending death threats on the forums, and that my old account could not be reopened, and that my new one could never be unmuted. Obviously, I absolutely ATTACKED him, because I never sent death threats. He then passed over the conversation, probably because I attacked him, and the second guy was so much more helpful. We eventually discovered I got closed because I said stuff about su****e on the forums (I’m nervous to write the word in case I get banned again), which is one of the worst reasons for me to be closed. It’s disgusting. Being closed because I am talking about personal issues that I’m struggling with? Anyway, he reopened my account, and we had to discuss it being unmuted. 30 days after my account’s restoral (today, 25th Nov) I would be unmuted, and 30 days later, they will make a final decision as to whether I will be permanently unmuted, or permanently muted.

Now I’m ngl, the fact that barely ANY of you cared that I got banned on the thread about it really hurts, especially when I consider a lot of you good friends. Y’all had the chance to help me, but none of you even TRIED. Some of you DID show that you care, and I appreciate it you guys, but the fact that the thread about me being banned only got to about 30 comments before it strayed off topic is frankly quite insulting. And then there are the sad little haters that rant about me day and night about me being feeble and an attention seeker (Bobby Max etc) but tbh Bobby Max I couldn’t care LESS what YOU of all people think, you don’t know what I’m going through, in fact none of you do. Bobby Max, your clearly just some sad little man who has to pick on someone they don’t even know, who is really struggling, to make themselves feel better. And wth, ur nearly 60? Get a life old man. And Franz, wtf did I do to you? We barely even spoke to each other, what was YOUR problem on the thread about me being banned?

My depression is like an iceberg – on the surface it only seems small, insignificant, something that doesn’t matter, but underneath, what you guys can’t see and don’t know, is a huge problem that I’m really struggling with, with no support whatsoever from ANYBODY, irl or online. No, it’s not all about rejections and girls and crushes, there’s other stuff too. And that’s another thing, everyone going on about my rejections and threads about girls. That kind of thing might not matter to you, but it does to me. I agree that CC isn’t a dating site, and I only ever ask for advice. Also, one of my threads about girls is the reason Rage is here - we wouldn’t have such a great otf member if it wasn’t for my thread. Stuff has happened while I’ve been gone, to do with Lily (my crush) and well… let’s just say I’m not in a mood to talk about it atm.

Also, I’ve deleted my book. All it’s got is negativity and abuse. It’s fine if some of you don’t like it, I can take the criticism, but all it’s got, all I’VE got, is abuse. So I’ve deleted it. Hazel was a liar, and all she got for her book was praise, but I suppose she would. After all, alongside Basix, she was treated like some god of otf. It shouldn’t matter if you don’t like my book, I should get SOME praise from y’all, because I’m your friend. Oh wait, no one wants me here, so ig y’all don’t see me as your friend.

So, next time you have a shot at my depression, or my ‘attention-seeking’, or are just generally abusive to me, just remember WHY I am like this. I have severe depression, and everyone helped Hazel out and they were kind to her, when she didn’t even have depression! All you guys say to me is that I’m attention-seeking. How is that fair?

And Ash, if you see this, pls come back. Your my bsf on CC, ilysm! Pls come back!

Yh. That’s all I have to say.