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Daddy first, obsessive chess player second. I'm nonreligious, but consider timing out a sin. Don't bring your queen out too early, because you might beat me. Send me a game challenge! "You seem a decent fellow. I hate to kill you." - Inigo Montoya "You seem a decent fellow. I hate to die." - The Dread Pirate Roberts "Careful man, there's a beverage here!" - The Dude "Yes I'm blue, but from holding my breath." - Guster (So Long) "I saw a werewolf with a Chinese menu in his hands, Walkin' through the streets of Soho in the rain. He was lookin' for the place called Lee Ho Fook's, For to get a big dish of beef chow mein." - Warren Zevon "Once when we moved away She came to Romulus for a day Her Chevrolet broke down We prayed it'd never be fixed or be found We touched her hair" - Sufjan Stevens (Romulus) "I wanna get one of those big maps you put on the wall, and then I'll put pins in all the places I've traveled to, but first I'll have to travel to the top two corners of the map, so it won't fall down." - Mitch Hedberg "Everyone looks cooler under a black light. Except for me, because I was under the impression the mustard stain came out." - Mitch Hedberg "What is a barometer, exactly?" - George Costanza "It's pronounced thermometer." - Kramer "Mama forget me now, let the creek drink the cradle you sang to." - Iron & Wine (Upward Over the Mountain) "So I beseech you, Mr. Chess, To let me sleep, to let me rest." - Duncan Sheik (Mr. Chess) "She was a firefly, I was lookin' for a light And I caught my breath when she hit The high notes with her eyes Her smile sang something familiar, I drowned in her river that night And the moon brought the tide I wouldn't know what to say If called upon to speak But we had an understanding." - my friend Derek (Lake Erie) "Take this sinkin' boat, And point it home, We've still got time." - Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova (Falling Slowly) "Sorrow drips into your heart through a pinhole Just like a faucet that leaks, And there is comfort in the sound, But while you debate half empty or half full, It slowly rises, Your love is gonna drown." - Death Cab for Cutie (Marching Bands of Manhattan) "I would sell you for a Box of Kleenex if I Saw my mother crying Or to wipe her lipstick off" - William Fitzsimmons (I Don't Love You Anymore) "I'd love to be a Civil War buff." - George Costanza "I'm quietly judging you." - Frank T. J. Mackey "I can't believe that we would lie in our graves, Wondering if we had spent our living days well, I can't believe that we would lie in our graves, Dreaming of things that might have been." - DMB (Lie In Our Graves) "I'm goin' through your things, These days I'm changin' all my strings." - Guster (Amsterdam) "The best I ever did with my life, Said just three honest words to you. Three droplets in a pail of lies, Three gems among the alibies." - Mike Doughty (Ways & Means) "There's not enough room in this world for my pain, Signals cross and love gets lost, And time passed makes it plain, Of all my demon spirits, I need you the most, I'm in love with your ghost." - Indigo Girls (Ghost) "Dancer with destiny, Tempter of fate, The life that you lived is only a taste. Sometimes the sweetest is the time that you waste."  - Duncan Sheik (Earthbound Starlight) "Shed a little light on this wasteland, Bring me rain when my water has run dry. Sing hope on the black walls of this basement, And bring me back to life."  - me (Wasteland) "Tick tock, it's gettin' late, the day is nearly dead, This pair of eyes too sunken in to see. I took a stroll right out of my head, And realized what you possess, and what I need."  - me (Seemingly Connected) "You leave it up to me, And you stare me down, Waiting in silence. You say this'll set me free, But sink or swim, I'm leaving the island."  - me (The Island) "Please, remember me, Finally, And all my uphill clawing, My dear, if I make The pearly gates, I'll do my best to make a drawing Of God and Lucifer, A boy and girl, An angel kissin' on a sinner, A monkey and a man, A marching band, All around the frightened trapeze swingers." - Iron & WIne (The Trapeze Swinger) "Are you a mammal, Or a reptile, I beg? 'Cause you swim all day long, But have fur and lay eggs. You say that you live underwater, But how can you breathe? Your babies attach to your belly hairs... I wish that baby was me." - me (Sweet Platypus) "We may well be the ones To set this world on its ear We may well get it done If not then why are we here?"  - Paul Westerberg (We May Be the Ones)