My Story.

For people that don't know me very well. I am Lilyana. I am a Korean-Canadian (Live in Canada but nationality is Korean). I am a big hockey fan. I grew up getting bullied in school and with racist kids (surprise surprise) I thought God was against me. But I was wrong. I met somebody like an angel from heaven but in disguise. Her name was Isabella. She was amazing who sacrificed everything for me to help me change my ways of being the way I was before. I used to troll online to distract myself from the bullies. She helped me. Did fun things with me, even gave me her lunch when I got bullied in school. I thank her for that. Later in grade 8 she passed away right in front of me as I held her hand and promised her I'll try my best. I did just that. I pushed myself past my own limit. I put my expectations to high for myself and became too emotional when I failed. I thought she was always disappointed in me and I had my fair share of mental breakdowns online and in the real world. Even police had to make sure I was ok sometimes and therapists struggled to help me. But now I have realized what Isabella wanted me to do. She wanted me to be the best person I can be. Not the best person she can be. I did just that. I realized everything I have been doing. Is who I am. Not who I thought I was forcing myself to be. It's just who I am. I want to help everybody. I want to make everybody happy. I want people to be happy or feel happy. I want to know somebody is smiling. That's who I am. I don't hold grudges or judge somebody for being a certain way and there ain't nothing wrong with that. I used to think people control my emotions but in reality its just me letting them get to my emotions. I told myself these exact words "You are strong, worth something "Worth more than a diamond in the sky" (based off my fav song) "Isabella is proud of you and you should be too just look how far you have come. You have beaten cancer, you have defeated bullies, you have gone through abuse and racism, parents fighting, but yet you go to university, you have a job, you can play professional hockey. Even scouts told you that you can play better than NHL players." I am proud of myself. I know a lot of you wont read this or wont care or some may make fun of me for posting this on a Chess website but I don't really have anywhere else to say this as most of my friends are here now. "Holy yap" "Nobody cares" But I am not afraid anymore. I am strong. Worth something. You are too. Even if you are at the lowest of the low. You can still rise. If you just.... try.

Thank you to anybody who actually read all this. It means a lot to me and please don't be negative here. Be proud of yourself. Reflect where you are now. How much you have, think about your parents and family and how much they have sacrificed for you. They are not trying to ruin your life. They want to stop you from being how they were or to be exactly like them. So before you go off thinking god hates you or the world hates you or the fact you hate somebody. Think about all the sacrifices they have been through. How their life goes. Before you go off disobeying your parents. "Is it really best to do or is it just stupid?" Most of the time its the second one. Keep being yourself everyone. Be the best person you can be. Because one day.... you might never wake up.

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We'll be cheering you on through life!

"Holy yap"

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Excuse me, what?

@TETO-DRILL Be quiet if you have nothing useful to say.

Oh mbmb