What's happening when it says 'Please wait, it's taking longer than usual to connect.'?

I havent been able to play for months i am going to rage now

This has been happening to me for about a year now. I've lost a lot of points because of it. It comes in waves—sometimes there are no issues, but then for weeks on end, I lose games due to connection problems. My computer's processor is not overloaded, there are no ads running in my browser, I've deactivated my antivirus and firewall, and my connection speed ranges between 220Mbps and 275Mbps. This makes Chess.com unreliable and unplayable for me.
I am really interested in going for the Diamont verion of chess.com, but it seems a waste of money, so I don't invest it.

it just disconnected in a winning postion and will come and say i lost by abandonment

This usually happens due to server issues or high traffic, affecting connection times and gameplay.