Chess College Admissions Essay
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That was great! I like how you used the quote to structure the essay similarly to a thesis.
Good luck with getting accepted!
SaltySnake wrote:
Hello all,
I am new to the forums so I'm not sure if this is the right place for this essay. However, I have decided that I am going to write my college admissions essays about chess. I would love to hear any editing or grammatical feedback you have for me. It would be greatly appreciated and I am excited to share the same passion as you guys!
A famous grandmaster once stated, “Chess is one of the few arts where composition takes place simultaneously with performance.” Chess might seem like a very simple game to many. After all, it consists of a board with 64 squares and 32 pieces on it. However, the game can end in two moves or in a thousand moves. After five moves by each player, there are 69,352,859,712,417 possibilities for the game already. You might think that there is no possible way that you can prepare for all of those outcomes. Conversely, throughout many lessons, I have realized that there are many similarities between chess and life in how you deal with the problems that arise.
It is true that there is no possible way to predict or control everything that happens to you in life or on the chess board. Nevertheless, you can empower yourself with the ability to react to these situations properly and efficiently. In chess, these methods of dealing with common situations are called tactics. High school and college can be considered the teachers of tactics of the real world. These institutions train you to be ready for what life throws at you. They arm you with tips, tricks, and skills for most occurrences, but sometimes you are left unsure on what to do. This is where the beauty of composition comes in.
When a chess game develops into a position that has never been discussed by theory before, it is called a novelty. Once you reach a novelty, it is up to you to take that position and capitalize on it with the tactics you learned. There is not always a clear path to win the game—you must create it on your own. Every human life starts out as theory on predetermined paths. It is up to you to break out of the theory and create your own novelty. It might be comfortable to continue down the path that everyone paved for you. However, you will find more satisfaction paving your own way and putting life into its own checkmate.
Thank you!
Good luck! Hope you get accepted.
Can I change my name twice
That was great to read, thanks for sharing. Some suggestions: Write about how chess relates to life by explaining consequences and explain why some say chess is a sport. Also you should try to add more historic facts about chess, like the popularity during the Cold War with Bobby Fischer, where and how chess originated and evolved, famous modern players, how computers started becoming better than humans, etc....
All in all, the correct thing you should be asking for is feedback, and not just specifically grammatical and editing feedback, even though we all can see that your sentence structure and writing skills aren't up to scratch yet.
There's always a mountain taller than the highest mountain etc etc...~
long_quach wrote:
Again, how is this for a novel college essay?
Lmao~
Me as a Dean? That essay doesn't even warrant a glance~
Let me rephrase that sentence🤷♀️ If you entered with that essay, that essay lands right in the trash and I'll just move to the next admission req, but if you're asking as you, and I'm sure you're quite logical irl I'll probs let you in🤔 And that essay doesn't warrant a glance because it just doesn't meet my standards. That essay isn't written for kindergarteners; it's written for adults. Knowledgable and well-educated adults.
long_quach wrote:
Wait a minute!
Copy my essay verbatim, with the bleeped out asterisks.
It is better in their imagination.
XD
You're a funny person. Love your humour (at least I think it's humour~)
You had to use poor Juliet, did you~
long_quach wrote:
LegendarySpartan wrote:
Knowledgable and well-educated adults.
Romeo and Juliet.
There's a lot of killing in Romeo and Juliet.
How many "knowledgable and well-educated adults" know what hatred and killing is? In your heart, not your head.
Anyhow, don't assume. I didn't specify if it was in the heart or mind. Could be both, could be either, could be neither. I really, really hate people assuming things.
I don't know your education background and if you are loyal to me. Wouldn't let you in without a thorough background check, years of observation, indoctrination~
Still. My answer is the same. A dictator's top priority is to make sure the people he/she raises high above the others are loyal to them and not the enemy. If you aren't loyal, I won't even read your essay--hell, you won't even be alive.
long_quach wrote:
LegendarySpartan wrote:
Still. My answer is the same. A dictator's top priority is to make sure the people he/she raises high above the others are loyal to them and not the enemy. If you aren't loyal, I won't even read your essay--hell, you won't even be alive.
You disappoint me.
The only loyalty I have is to the Truth!
I don't think you understand how a dictator thinks, do you? Unless you meant the Dictator of the Truth~ Anyhow, I don't answer to anybody, so I hardly give a hoot if I disappointed anybody, товарищ.
long_quach wrote:
long_quach wrote:
LegendarySpartan wrote:
Still. My answer is the same. A dictator's top priority is to make sure the people he/she raises high above the others are loyal to them and not the enemy. If you aren't loyal, I won't even read your essay--hell, you won't even be alive.
You disappoint me.
The only loyalty I have is to the Truth!
I write the Truth of what I think and feel.
Truth is a twisted and tricky thing and people interpret truth varyingly. What you think is the truth cannot be the truth for others. Hell, there're still some hippies who think the world is flat as a blin~
long_quach wrote:
LegendarySpartan wrote:
I don't think you understand how a dictator thinks, do you?
As Mr. Spock often says, "Logic dictates . . . "
Not everyone knows Mr.Spock, товарищ.