Feeling Frusturated

Hey,

I am a first time poster here, but thought it may be a good idea to reach out for advice. I have always thought of myself as a pretty good chess player. I reached a 1400 blitz rating, 1600 bullet(I've also reached 1835 before on another account here), and about 1200 rapid. 

To make a long story short I decided to teach coach someone at my job who was interested in getting better at chess. He was rated around 600 when he first started. It has been over a year now and he's 800 rapid, 800 bullet, and around 1085 blitz and reached a peak of 1200. I play him 5 days out of the week multiple times. In the beginning, I would win all the time. Now he seems to be winning more and more against me and it's very annoying and frustrating to me as a coach. I don't understand how he could get wins against me, but loses to people much lower rated here. Being 300+ points higher and losing to him so often is taking its toll on me mentally. I'm happy my training has got him better, but I am trying to understand what is going on with me. Does anyone has any ideas 💡 🤔? I can handle losing to someone around my rating, but 300 points lower it's very troublesome. It makes me feel like I am a terrible chess player and won't ever have a chance at being good at tournaments if I ever decide to do any. 

I've also won against many 1800 rated opponents and even some 2000s and NMs. 

Sorry if it sounds like I am crying, but I really am confused and sad about this situation. 😔

My only idea is maybe he's just really use to my play style. I always do London or Stonewall for white and the pirc for black. He does London for white and kings Indian for black. 

It could be as simple as him putting more into his chess studies than you.

He told me that he plays better over the board instead of on the app. I am the opposite. It seems that I play way better online than otb. Most of all my experience has been on the 2d board. I never thought there was anything to it, but it seems like there may be something about that. It just seems like I can see tactics and everything much easier online than otb. Every time we play online, I always win or get a draw. I had 15 wins and he had 2 against me.

It's understandable to feel frustrated when a student starts winning more frequently, especially when they're rated significantly lower. Here are a few possible explanations and suggestions: 1. **Adaptation to Your Style**: Your student may have adapted to your playing style after so many games. This is common when playing the same opponent frequently. They start to recognize patterns and exploit weaknesses. 2. **Playing Seriously**: Consider if you are always playing at your best. Sometimes, when we play against lower-rated players, we might subconsciously not take the game as seriously, leading to mistakes. 3. **Psychological Pressure**: Losing to someone you think you should consistently beat can create psychological pressure, which can negatively impact your performance. 4. **Improvement of the Student**: Your coaching has clearly helped your student improve significantly. They might be playing above their current rating level, particularly in games against you. 5. **Variability in Form**: Chess performance can fluctuate due to various factors, such as mental state, focus, and physical condition. ### Suggestions 1. **Review Games**: Analyze the games you lose to identify specific mistakes or patterns. Understanding why you lost can help you improve and adjust your strategy. 2. **Mix Up Your Play**: Try different openings and strategies to avoid becoming too predictable. 3. **Focus on Fundamentals**: Ensure you are always paying attention to basic principles, even in games against lower-rated players. 4. **Take a Break**: Sometimes taking a short break from playing the same opponent can help reset your mindset. 5. **Reflect on Positives**: Remember that losing games is a natural part of improvement. Use these losses as learning opportunities. 6. **Variety of Opponents**: Play against a variety of opponents to avoid getting too used to one playing style. Ultimately, your feelings are valid, and it's great that you're reaching out for advice. Keep focusing on continuous improvement and try to use these experiences to become an even stronger player.

Thank you very much for this well thought out advice. I am sure this will help me. I honestly have felt like quitting chess, but your post motivates me to continue.

Report him for cheating

Well thought? No, well typed into chatGPT. That's a chatGPT answer

Playing the same opponent repeatedly allows them to become familiar with your strategies and typical moves. This familiarity can give them an edge over time, as they learn to anticipate and counter your usual plays.

Hey,

First off, props to you for helping your colleague improve so much! That's impressive. I totally get where you're coming from—losing to someone 300 points lower can be frustrating. It sounds like he's really adapted to your playstyle since you play so often.

One thing that might help is diversifying your openings a bit. Have you heard of ChessMood? They offer some great courses on various openings and strategies that might give you a fresh perspective and keep your student on his toes. Plus, it could help boost your own game and give you some new tricks to use in tournaments.

Link to ChessMood: https://chessmood.com/?r=NationalChessBlasters

Good luck, Trokly34

Wow, looks nice. I’ll check it out.

It could be his opening. I have a friend whos rated 400 points lower than me in rapid, and can be at me 40 percent of the time. Why? Because I am not used to his opening, it is very aggressive and hard to defend correctly. Study the openings he uses. Hopefully that helps.

I have friends who are almost impossible to beat. When I'm at their houses I usually lose. You know. It is a happy circumstance,Beer and talks, that lowers my combative instinct. Apparently you showed your skills to your friend in your case. Change your entire game. Change position and surprise to him with new circumstances. I'm also a Jedi. I was on the USA Totjo and UK COJ websites studying May the Force Guide You

That's part of it yeah.

It also works in the other direction. After beating him a lot, you know you're better, so you wont take your opponent's threats as seriously, or you're more willing to take risks when you attack, etc. So your opponent adjusts to you but also you change the way you play (you start relaxing around this opponent).

By the way, ratings work off statistics. 300 rating points is the same as saying the lower rated player should win 1 out of 5 or 6 games even if you're playing your best... so while your opponent is allowed to keep the same mindset (trying their best) you eventually have to change your mindset as they get within striking distance. For example, if your opponent is getting very comfortable positions against one of your openings, why not try something different? Your opponent has been trying to figure out ways to get better opening results, but you're allowed to do this too. Find out what makes your opponent uncomfortable and then punish them with it.

By the way, changing an opening can just be something to throw them off, meaning it's not necessarily an opening you love or want to play often. For example maybe you play a king's indian setup or semi-slav type setup (with either color)... Then after a few sessions of that don't play it again for a month or two. Mixing in stuff like this waters down their preparation against you.

This can also help you focus and set some goals for yourself, since you'll be uncomfortable in the new opening, and you can psychologically excuse the fact that you'll be trying hard... for example I don't imagine you ever try to swindle your opponent in one way or another (like flagging from a bad position). Because winning is rare for them, you're tempted to let them have their win. This is in contrast to when you're playing a peer, you're just trying to win, and you don't care how it happens.

Style can definitely be a factor, particularly if your playing styles are very different to each other, that can be a bit of a leveller. There are a few players I regularly run into online that are typical two or three hundred points lower and yet I don’t do very well against them (maybe a small plus score but definitely not what the ratings would indicate). The opposite is true as well and there are some ‘better’ players who I enjoy facing.

The other more likely theory perhaps is because you know the person in real life you feel pressure to ‘prove’ something, similarly against you he’s raising his game but is not as bothered against random opponents on here.

Ultimately ratings are a great way to measure someone’s chess over the long haul but often not quite as reliable at saying how player A should fare against player B (but still a good guide of course)