Chess is the Worst Game Ever Created (Watch me prove it)

Chess is absolutely, the most pointless game ever invented.Chess is a total scam. That’s right – people have been falling for this overly complicated, ridiculous board game for centuries, and it’s about time someone calls it out for what it truly is. Honestly, if you’re still playing chess, it’s time to rethink your life choices. Let’s dive into exactly why this "intellectual masterpiece" is nothing but a frustrating, mind-numbing waste of time. 1. The Ultimate Snoozefest First things first: chess is boring. And I don’t mean regular boring – I mean the kind of boring that makes you want to do your laundry or organize your sock drawer instead. You’re just sitting there, staring at a grid of black and white squares, moving pieces one square at a time, hoping you don’t make some devastating mistake that ruins everything. Honestly, watching paint dry has more suspense. There’s a reason no one throws chess-viewing parties. If someone did, they’d probably be arrested for inflicting public torture. 2. The "Thrill" of Memorizing 10,000 Rules Chess fans love to brag about all the "strategy" and "critical thinking" involved in the game. But let’s face it: it’s just memorizing a bunch of arbitrary rules about how each piece moves. Pawns move one way, rooks move another, knights jump in L-shapes like it’s some kind of weird equestrian dressage, and bishops go diagonally as if they’re just too fancy for straight lines. Why? Because chess said so. There’s no logic, just a bunch of arbitrary moves that have somehow convinced people that they’re "learning." It’s basically the board game equivalent of memorizing your Wi-Fi router’s user manual. 3. The Pawn’s Sad, Depressing Life And let’s talk about pawns. Poor, innocent pawns. The literal cannon fodder of chess. These little guys march forward one square at a time, knowing full well they’re just going to get sacrificed for the “greater good.” It’s like the creators of chess thought, “You know what this game needs? A piece that exists just to be disposable.” Imagine if every time you played a game, you had to pick one piece that existed only to be thrown away. Depressing, right? But that’s chess for you. 4. The “High Stakes” of Moving at Snail’s Pace Oh, and the excitement of moving pieces one square at a time – can you even handle the suspense? This is why the game lasts forever. You’re crawling across the board, each turn taking at least 10 minutes because, god forbid, you make a mistake and leave yourself open to a “fork” or a “pin.” Meanwhile, people in checkers are jumping all over the place, but no, not in chess. Chess pieces are just too proud to move quickly. They take their time, like it’s a medieval waltz on a black-and-white dance floor. 5. Openings: Because Apparently, We’re All in School Again Chess lovers talk about “openings” like they’re some sort of advanced calculus formula. “Oh, I’m playing the Sicilian Defense,” they’ll say, as if anyone else knows what that means or cares. It’s like taking a history test where you memorize old, irrelevant moves that other people used hundreds of years ago. Imagine explaining that to a beginner: “Yes, we know it’s your first game, but here’s a 300-page book on openings. And if you don’t know them all, well, prepare to lose horribly.” 6. Endgames: The Ultimate Letdown Ah, the endgame. After hours of moving pieces at the speed of molasses, you’re finally down to just a king, a rook, and maybe a pawn if you’re lucky. This is the grand finale everyone’s been waiting for. It’s like going to a concert where the band plays one note for 30 minutes and then packs up to leave. Congratulations, you’ve reached the end of the most intense, mind-numbing battle of your life, and it’s… a slow-motion chase of two pieces around the board. Riveting stuff. 7. The Genius Trap: Only for “Smart” People Let’s not forget, chess players love to think they’re intellectual elites, looking down on the rest of us mere mortals. They’ll talk about “deep strategy” and “tactics,” dropping names like Kasparov and Carlsen as if they’re talking about old friends. Newsflash: memorizing how a bunch of pieces move on a board doesn’t make you a genius. But sure, go ahead and feel superior for knowing that a knight can fork a king and a queen. I’ll just be over here actually having fun, thanks. 8. The Humiliation of Checkmate The real joy of chess comes in that humiliating final moment: checkmate. After hours of painful concentration, your opponent moves a piece, looks you dead in the eye, and says, “Checkmate.” Oh, the horror. The shame. Imagine playing a game that not only lets your opponent win, but rubs it in by saying, “Oh yeah, your king? Totally trapped. Nothing you can do. Have a nice day!” Imagine if every game ended with that kind of humiliation. Monopoly? “Bankrupt!” Scrabble? “You lose, try harder next time!” No thanks, I’ll pass on the public shaming. 9. Grandmasters are Basically Superhuman Let’s be real here: no one is ever going to be as good as those grandmasters. The rest of us are just moving pieces and hoping for the best, while they’re out here playing 20 games at once blindfolded. These are people who can checkmate you with just a king and a pawn, while the rest of us can barely remember where our pieces are. It’s like watching a magician and pretending you’ll be able to do those tricks someday. Spoiler alert: you won’t. Conclusion: Chess is a “Classic,” but So is the Flu In conclusion, chess is overrated. Overcomplicated. Overhyped. People say it’s a “classic” game that’s “good for the mind.” Well, you know what else is a classic? The flu. Just because it’s been around forever doesn’t mean we should celebrate it. Chess players might insist on the “beauty” of the game, but it’s really just a cleverly disguised torture device that masquerades as intellectual entertainment. So let’s all agree to move on from this brain-bending, painfully slow, glorified puzzle and find a game that doesn’t make us question our sanity. Chess? No, thank you. I’ll stick to games that don’t require me to overthink every move and treat pawns like sacrificial lambs.

Nah uh! It isn't.

hello may i introduce to you the modern inventions "indentation" and "paragraphing"

by doing this you make your text easier to read.

yeah

Yeah.

yeah

yeah

Then why did you play 600 rapid, 1700 blitz and thousand s of bullet games?

BRUH your chess.com username goes exactly against that guy!

Even Fisher was bored with chess. That's why he proposed "960". But that is still chess.

I can still be surprised of occurring situations., keeps it interesting for me.

Stratego lets you make your own starting position.

That's a fresh start. May be an idea for chess alternative: "Chess I"