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1000 signs you're not a very good chess player

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modee1

1. You celebrate for a day after getting your rating over 500

2. It takes you ten minutes to solve a mate in one puzzle

3. You try to move your bishop on your first turn

4.You move your king on the second

5. You have to ask your opponent what just happened when he king-side-castles

6. You stay at the board five minutes after the game thinking "I know this isn't checkmate"

7. You end up with two bishops on black

8. You cheer really loudly for yourself when you win a game

9. The pawn is your favorite piece because it can become anything once its promoted

10. You don't know what promoted means

modee1

please number the signs

PLAVIN81

WELL SAID MODEE1====Smile

Rasparovov

lol this is pretty funny, keep on going here.

adamplenty

http://www.chess.com/forum/view/fun-with-chess/signs-youre-a-bad-chess-player

modee1

11. You don't understand why computer1 is EASY

modee1

12. You think people are crazy for when they say the daily puzzle is easy

modee1

please help me list more signs

VULPES_VULPES

13. Your opponent says "mate in 16" before his first move.

VULPES_VULPES

14. You lose to your pet hamster.

15. You are somehow very good at suicide chess.

16. Your king is behind your opponent's pawns after 30 moves.

17. You initiate the Fried Liver Attack, thinking you have achieved checkmate.

18. You capture your opponent's queen on the first move.

19. You think kings can move two squares forward on his first move.

20. You cry every time one of your pieces is captured.

The_Gavinator

22. You troll the Parham on chess.com.

thomas37

23. When you get checked, you don't understand why you can't just play a check move yourself in response.

24. You just can't seem to take his dark square bishop with your light square bishop.

25. When your opponent castles queenside, you say, "Nuh-UH!"

26. You have ever managed 3 sets of doubled pawns.

27. Your opponent says checkmate, and you ask him if he's from Austrailia.

28. You've ever tried to take a pawn en passant... with your rook.

29. After the third Fool's Mate in a row, you exclaim, "How do you keep DOING THAT?!"

30. You think a chess club is a cane with a horse head on it.

LazyChessPlayer3201

31. You tend to fianchetto your rooks instead of your bishops

32. You fail to checkmate a opponent after being shown how to mate with a Queen, but you have 3 Queens.

How long to solve a mate in 1 http://www.chess.com/forum/view/more-puzzles/mate-in-one5 judge for yourself

chessgm8

33. You think that a piece that reaches the 1st or 8th rank gets promoted

kratoschess

when your draw offer sends the crowd into uncontrollable laughter

kratoschess

29. After the third Fool's Mate in a row, you exclaim, "How do you keep DOING THAT?!"

 

he he he

kratoschess

you give that "You are cheating face" when your opponent does an en- passat

thomas37

You practiced your various checkmates for hours... and never once got a chance to use one.

ErrantDeeds

30. You say 'King Me' when your pawn reaches the 8th rank. 

MoMario

39. You try to promote any piece that makes it to the 8th rank.

40. You promote by flipping the piece over and putting another piece on top.