Seeking Advice on Dealing with Chess Rage

Hi everyone,

I'm looking for some advice and opinions on an issue I've been struggling with recently. Ever since I reached an ELO of 1000, I've been experiencing intense rage whenever I play chess. My anger has become so severe that I end up breaking furniture and punching walls. I didn't have this issue before hitting this milestone, but now it's affecting my mental health and my surroundings.

Has anyone else experienced something similar? How do you manage or overcome this kind of rage while playing chess? Any tips or strategies would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks in advance for your help.

Hi Tony,

I'm no expert but it sounds to me as if you are focusing more on your rating than on enjoying your chess games. It's great to have rating targets - they help us to gauge our progress - but I think you should try to ignore the rating for a while. Perhaps take a short break from chess. Or play some unrated games. Also, try playing some slower Rapid games rather than Blitz or Bullet - that should lower the stress too (you can always go back to them at a later date if you prefer that format)

As a secondary suggestion, how about a punchbag and some boxing gloves? At least that way you can work out any anger without injuring yourself or your furniture

I've been through that before. To be honest, it was because I wanted more ratings but I kept loosing the more I wanted it plus I also had connection problems. But I realized that I kept losing because I wasn't able to keep a cool head in my games and I wasn't learning. So I deleted that account and started learning. I don't advice deleting your account but try to keep a cool head.

I dont think I am the most qualified person to give advise as I tilt often due to my rage, but I learned this:- Treat losses as an opportunity to learn. For example, lets suppose you lose to a dubious opening. You can do three things:- 1.Rage and curse your opponent. 2 Rage and curse yourself. Or 3.Not rage and learn how to beat that opening. With the third option, You will grow in chess and also in your life if you apply it.

I am a senior citizen that began playing chess not too long ago. I always wanted to learn how and once I retired I had enough time to make chess my hobby. There was a while there when I would get frustrated because I wanted to reach a blitz rating of 1000. I play 5/0 games because I have trouble focusing beyond twenty minutes at a time. After playing for almost a year I started to lose patience with myself and I wasn't having as much fun as I had in the beginning. I am too old to throw furniture around so I decided to stay away from chess for a few days. When I came back to playing it was with a different attitude. I reasoned that I would probably never reach a 1000 blitz rating and in any event, I should forget about ratings and just enjoy whatever time I have left playing a game I've learned to love.

I think that I am he most rated person here.

I too faced this thing when I reached 1721 and then fell to 1666, it hurts a lot.

But we should know that we learn

Nothing should affect your well being by making you angry and my advice is to take a break from faster time controls and stick to daily games for a while. At least 24 hour+ games giving you plenty of time to consider each move and avoid blunders. The pattern recognition and do's and dont's will set in much more easily than rapid. Join a bunch of tournaments with at least 72 hour a move time controls and soon you will have lots of active games and enough time to take a day off here and there when you feel like a chess free day.

Remember that overall your win/lose rate will be roughly 50/50 so losing is a part of the game just like winning is. I always play to win but am philosophical when I lose and try to learn from it. Don't set ratings targets because that is an unnecessary pressure.

Avoid alcohol when playing. Learn breathing and relaxation exercises. Go for long walks or jogging.

Hi

I am a retired psychologist and college professor. I am also a chess master. So I have much experience in advising people re issues concerning chess and emotional issues. 

There are many things to try.

Focusing on winning/losing can be a distraction and actually detract from your playing ability. you might try playing unrated games, games against robots, games against friends who allow you to take back egregious mistakes.

Another approach is to focus on skill-building rather than winning/losing. Athletes in preseason practice try out new things without worrying about the outcome. You could identify a set of skills to work on (castling by move 10, connecting your rooks, etc.)

there are cognitive exercises (eg, saying it’s only a game; ratings are meaningless). Find what works for you.

There are physical techniques to control emotional arousal (e.g., slow breathing) that lower arousal.

And if these don’t help, take a break from playing. Study great games from the past. Review games of favorite players. It may help to remind yourself why chess is a beautiful game.

Hope this helps.

When I lose, I say to myself, "Hmm ... What could I have done better?"

Then I open the analysis board and review the game.

Nearly always, there's something that missed. Some sequence that I played incorrectly, or some opportunity that I failed to notice.

I study those moments until I understand them.

Then I know that I've increased my playing strength, just a little bit more.

Your losses, when studied, are the secret elixir to getting stronger ...

Concentrate on making the best moves you can rather than the result of the game. Enjoy the process of thinking and strategizing.

Tesó én napi max 5 meccset megyek akármi van, de ha pl úgy érzem h nem megy vagy vesztek zsinorba 3at nem kezdek ideges lenni hanem abba hagyom. Ez nem clash royale hogy a skill mellett van egy kis szerencse itt szimplán az nyer aki jobb, lehetsz akármilyen jó játékos ha szar napod van vagy a suliban lefárasztottak fos lesz a meccs is. Engem amikor el vernek nem szoktam mérges lenni mivel szerintem az ember akkor ideges ha egy olyan dolog történik amiről ő nem tehet és árt neki. Pl csgoban kéket nyitsz vagy nem jön be a tip mix. A sakkban ha hibázol csak magadat okolhatod így szerintem nincs min idegeskedni. Ha meg ténlegesen le akarsz nyugodni ne a napi hanem a havi teljesítményedet nézd meg, de ha az is romlott ez van a sakk gyakorlás, gyakorlás, gyakorlás. A nap végén nem a win rate vagy az elo szám számít hanem, hogy mennyi meccset mentél pl mész 10000 meccset amiből 8000et vesztettél már előrébb vagy annál mint aki csak 2000et nyert. Az ember a sakkban folyamatosan fejlődik, ezt kell észre venni ez nem a clash of clans h fejleszted a tornyaid itt a bábuk akár mennyit játszol ugyan olyan erősek lesznek. Amúgy meg 1100as vagy az tök fasza, onnan a legnehezebb kitőrni én kb 3 hónapig voltam 1100as azt egyik napról a másikra jobb lettem és kb 4 hónap alatt 1500as lettem ahol most szintén megakadtam, de ez van csak járszani, játszani, játszani, és ne zavarjon, hogy néha veszítesz az igazi vesztes a csatában az aki nem elemzi a meccset meg ilyenek. Én azt ajánlom, hogy ne a vesztes csatákra koncentrálj ha lépsz egy jót küld el a haveroknak azt annyi. Én is ma vesztettem meg nyertem is még is léptem egy brilliánsot lescreeneltem azt azt küldtem tovább és ugyan az elom kevesebb lett még is büszke vagyok a teljesítményemre és öröm volt ma sakkozni.

If you allow your ego to get tangled up with your chess it can (and usually does) damage your ego and also hold back your chess.

You should make sure they don't get tangled.

Have you tried using a rubber band?

All of this sounds like excellent advice.

Hello, this happened to me before so I created a new rule

the rule is that when you lose 2 games take a break

What?

Just take a short break, play casually with friends OFFLINE, then come back. I would only play unrated games until you get comfortable with the whole cycle of winning and losing again. Then you can phase into rated games. You won't be as stressed about elo if you aren't in a position to gain or lose it.

Well it could be that you're not focusing on improving correctly, or you don't know how to continue improving. Generally when I lose I think to myself "Okay what did I mess up... hmm I'll have to work on X, Y, Z". There have been times when I've gotten pretty annoyed at the opponent... I'm remembering losing to the Smith Morra, an opening I consider clearly bad where I felt the opponent played in a very unsophisticated way, or losing in short time controls and cursing at the game mode. But in hindsight - I think I hadn't yet learnt how to beat the Smith Morra, nowdays seeing as I have a plan to play against it if I did lose I think I'd just see it as something to learn from. And for time controls, I've just decided not to take bullet seriously and when something annoys me in bullet - like I lose a winning position or run out of time in an interesting position - there's nothing to learn from it but I usually say to myself "this is why I don't play bullet" and then I go play a rapid game.

So learn better would be my advice