what are you confused about thats the first step
I get so confused
Like I understand the basics of moving pieces and check and checkmate and some things like queen can't move like a night and if a pawn gets to the end it can become any piece and how every piece can move and take other pieces
Don't get discouraged. Chess is hard, esp. when you're a raw beginner. To get better at chess, you're going to have to read some books aimed at beginners. Reading Yasser Seirawan's Winning Chess series of books is a good way to start. Since it can be frustrating trying to improve all by yourself, you might also want to consider joining a chess club, if available in your area.
I like the idea of not making a fuss about rating for a while during learning would be a great idea.
Welcome to chess. No matter how good you think you are. There is someone who is miles better than you
What you need to do: use your time and think.
What you are doing right now is the opposite: you play random moves in a a couple of seconds.
Look at this game:
https://www.chess.com/game/live/121276084620?username=i-probablywon
On move 8, black blundered away his knight with Nxe3. What you needed to do is think, spot that the knight can be taken for free. Instead, you made a completely random move (Qc2) which proved to be the worst move in the position, losing a queen and a rook immediately.
Don't play random moves. Use your time and think.
I just guess and have no idea what im doing. especcially when I'm on the game report and it talks about how good the defending and stuff is.