I would disagree! For people with anxiety (like myself) , opening up to strangers can be daunting and overwhelming, and a huge step if they manage to overcome it to reach out. Many of us cant or don't want to take that step, so finding someone else who already has, ( possessing much bigger balls than I did) gives us a place we can meet and connect already knowing we struggle with social interactions. I feel it helps cut some of the stressors of meeting/playing with new people if you have an understanding of each-others' potential difficulties right from the get go. Of course, as in any online forum, doing so invites trolls and other unsavory characters, but it also helps connect you to like-minded people, which was the whole point in the first place.
Struggling with Anxiety
How would you suggest working on a social inability, other than socializing? Rhetorical, please. Its understandable that some folks are just unable to grasp that to improve a skill, you must practice it.
That actually sounds like a good way to wind down after playing more seriously throughout the day. I personally play puzzles, because no one is waiting on me to make a move XD
Ive also found that playing the computer helped to alleviate boredom, the desire to play an actual game (instead of anecdotal puzzles) and provided practice in implementing and identifying certain patterns and tricks you might encounter in a live game. If the anxiety is severe enough, computers are a good mediary between playing with another person.
I second this. Anxiety most probably comes from the fact to know a human being is behind the board and so playing against bots, as I do, makes me feel less anxious ...
OK, playing against bots does not raise or diminish your rating and so your ego is not nourished, but is playing chess only or most for nourishing the ego or is it for having fun and killing some spare time or whatever ... ¿?
IMHO
I am struggling at the moment with anxiety plus I am a perfectionist, which means I am putting far too much pressure on myself.
ATM I am loving learning, reading, watching videos, tutorials etc.
I also love puzzles. I don't play on chess.com - but your forum is much better!!!
Where I am struggling is playing against other people. I really want to play. But I am scared of losing, I hate when my ranking goes down. I crucify myself for blunders etc. The logical part of my brains that I am going to win basically as many as I lose and there are always going to be people better than you. Its the journey and not the destination that you need to enjoy.
I was playing 10 minute games, but I am struggling for time in the day (which makes me feel anxious) for I moved to 5 minutes games, but I don't think I am getting anything out of this.
Any suggestions? I really want to play and enjoy,
Hmm, I doubt anyone will have any magic cures for you and I question whether opening up to strangers is the right place to look for help.