"Somebody please help Wesley So!"

The humble Wesley So was last spotted by Philippian tourists fast asleep on a hard wooden bench in the 7th cart of a rickety old train on the Trans-Siberian Railway, looking bone-tired and drained to his core. Apparently he has spent the past 2 days attempting to track down some unknown Russian chess-wizard, who's flight is said to have recently crash-landed in mysterious Yekaterinburg, on the eastern slopes of the Ural Mountains. The unidentified IM, rumored to have once worked for the KGB, was reportedly whisked off from Moscow 4 days prior, to an undisclosed bunker beneath the snowcapped Andes of Chile, where 37 rapid-fire games had taken place between him and Alireza Firouzja, leaving poor Mr. So just half a point behind the Frenchman.

Lmao at #2