why is this happening to me? I'm ready to give this game up forever :(

I stumbled into the chess world around 2010 by going to local cafe' and playing OTB. I believe I made an account in 2012. for a solid 8 years...I have trained and obsessed. I have watched hundreds of hours of YouTube videos, I have bought diamond memberships a few times and splurged and poured over many, many hours of lessons. I completed grandmaster 11 academy(josh waitzkin). I have bought shredder chess steps 3 and 4 and done the majority of it and I have completed many, many thousands of puzzles...online and offline(through friends sharing). And of course, I have played many online and OTB games in 8 years. Over the last year, I've tried to make live games, (15/10) a priority. just take a look at my stats on rapid for the last 90 days. what is happening to me? I just cannot seem to improve...even after 8 years. :( and im rapidly getting worse. and it's so damn frustrating...I feel I've wasted so much spare time. yes it's just a game...but to me it's also more than that. I liked to think that if you poured effort into something long term...like 8 years long term...I'd see improvement. but the exact opposite is happening. I'm getting worse. I'm around 1800-1900 in tactical puzzles, but I'm consistently and regularly losing to 1200 rated players. I used to beat 1400-1600. why am i getting worse...consistently? why am I not seeing any improvement after 8 years? my only improvement is in puzzles I suppose. I'm ready to give up this game forever. I've been stubbornly grinding 8 years of practice out hoping for a return on it.

I analyze my games and see my obvious mistakes and blunders but cannot stop making them, regardless of my awareness

if anyone can do anything to pull me out of an 8 year slump and into the right direction...I will be beyond grateful. I know I'm going to recieve the usual cliche' advice...but thought it was worth a try. hopeful someone will put some solid effort to find why I'm so stupid and steer me straight

think harder, i would play longer games so you have time to understand every move you make as well as your opponents. i wouldnt know though im around 500 rating and bad at this game. i also think there is an influx of new players getting good at the game so that may be a reason for your downfall

I completely understand your frustration. 

Maybe try playing classical games (1-2+ hour time controls). This might help you, as you have more time to move and can study the position more accurately. Another thing you can do to improve is to play unrated games. I'm saying this because it might ease your stress about chess games in general. Then, when you have played enough unrated games, try switching back to rated ones. You can also just take a 3-4 week break from chess.

I hope these suggestions aid you, as you seem to have put a lot of time and effort into the game of chess. Keep it up!

no... real life coaching is the one thing I haven't had any experience with yet. yeah, it's likely that you are a much better/stronger player than me. I just don't understand why all this material and knowledge I have combed through, almost daily, for 8 years...isn't showing any sort of return. and worse...I'm sinking hard in the last 90 days. and perhaps, what the previous member mentioned about an influx of new players, does contribute to that. but I feel really stupid that in 8 years, I've gotten worse at the game and the only thing I've improved at is puzzles. I also have a lichess account and I'm sitting at around 1700 in live games there. but I havent used that account for about a year

Would you consider trying even longer games? People say that 15|10 is the minimum time control for improvement, but if you are making mistakes, it might be too fast for you. For instance, I played a few 10|2 games in the summer. I played in some arena tournament and lost around 60 points of my rating losing left and right to players lower rated than me (I lost a few games due to time scramble, even some I was winning). Sometimes when I play 30 minutes per side I still find some games a bit too fast if the position is more complex (I mainly play 60 minutes per side). I mean, I am sure that I could play 15|10, but it would surely be a bit weaker play than in 60 minutes per side.

In short, to not bore you to death, try playing a less amount of longer games. If you are not content with a quality of your games, then why not trying to play more quality longer games?

thanks for all the replies so far. yeah, I could try some longer games I suppose. I rarely feel rushed tho and perhaps I cant break the habit of rushing...and why I'm making beginner blunders often. I'm hanging pieces like I just started playing a month ago. and even tho I know I'm regularly doing it...I cant seem to stop :/

and to the member that suggested unrated, yeah that might be something I have to explore. and perhaps like the first reply suggested...I have had a pretty mentally traumatic year...I took a long break from chess before coming back full tilt. so perhaps my mental state plays a part.

ok so I just played a rated 60 min time control and won in a pretty aggressive manner. but the analysis shows a blunder :/

think you are doing great.  There is no substitute for actually playing.  And you have 511 games in 8 years.....  That's five games a month, slightly more than one a week.  I am a newbie, but, I would think one would have to play multiple games each day to maintain a decent rating. 

Well, you still won, and you've played very fast. You should probably try to slow down further. Here you had pretty sharp position. In this kind of a position you need to take more time, because inaccurate moves might have more severe consequences. Even if you have a better position, try to take your time. Be aware however that your accuracy will not be great in this kind of a game. It is a more complex position and if you could score 95 accuracy on a regular basis in these kind of positions, you would have been a GM. 

By the way, I recognize the username of this guy, I've played twice with him a few months ago and only have 1 draw.

He was recently over 1 500, I see that he has a bad streak as well.

thank you. appreciate that. but I also play games on lichess and games OTB. it also doesn't explain why I'm seeing a steady decline and playing NOT like I have 8 years of daily playing/study/training

thank you nklristic. yes...lots of time left. I did play faster than I would have liked. yeah I wonder if the bishop sac was a little rushed. computer didnt like that and wanted my queen brought into game and tactics to lure his dark square bishop away (to take advantage of discovered checks with my light squared bishop) I could have played that much stronger unfortunately. very interesting you recognize the player and his own slump. I will keep that in mind. thank u

Nope, you certainly don't need multiple games per day. 1 game per day is a lot, you could improve by playing less  games if you already have some experience. You need time to study chess as well. After the initial improvement, simply playing multiple games will not be enough, you must do other things if you wish to improve.

For new players however, it is advisable to play as many quality games as you can. It still doesn't mean that 3 faster games are better than 1 slower, more quality game per day. 

There you go.

I don't know what I am doing....  I can't even get the OP's game count correct....

If you want to get better at analyzing, don't play speed chess as much and go into longer games, even 10 minutes long, so you can analyze during the game, and find out all possible solutions

I think he has beaten me when I was a few points short of 1 500 (I did it a few days after that game if I am not mistaken) and that is why I recognize him. Also, it says that we played 2 games, so I believe I am not mistaken.

As for rating, I think that it is a stronger competition now. The site has boomed since Covid outbreak. They got a lot of new players, myself included, and it is probably somewhat tougher to get to the same rating you had before.

As for the game, you really throw a lot at him. Nobody likes to defend and sometimes even not so sound attacks can still win you the game. Of course, we should play sound chess and it is better to always play the best moves possible, but as far as I can see, the engine prefers your position pretty much the whole time, so this means that you played well. Even though there were some better moves, you had the initiative and the game was in your hands the whole time.