Jun is my best friend's grandnephew. I do not know why, but his parents could not raise him. He was being raised by the grandfather for a few months when the grandfather turned to his sister for help. First thing my friend said was only if her friend (me) can help. Loving children, plus being a helpful person, and willing to do anything for friends, I immediately said yes.

I had babysat kids often, but none as young as 5 1/2 months old. It was a learning experience and the best I ever had. It was hard work but I loved it and would never trade it for anything in the world!

I remember the good and bad times. Scariest time was when Jun was choking on a baby cookie/cracker. Hardly without a thought, I picked him up by his legs and waist and while upside down hit him on the back and the cookie came flying out of his mouth. Well, maybe not the scariest, because it all happened so fast.

Really scariest was my rolling chair/stool. When I was sitting on it, it slid out from under me and went flying across the room. Luckily Jun was nowhere behind me. After that, I put it in storage with the legs pointed up.

Another scary time was when Jun was first beginning to crawl. He crawled under my computer desk and as I was getting him, he yanked and pulled out the electric cord. There was even a little pop of electricity. After that, I rerouted my cords so that they hung from the ceiling where Jun could reach nothing. Also put the baby outlet protectors on EVERY low outlet. Luckily my kitchen sink area had outlets by the stovetop. Speaking of which, I had to also take off the stove knobs. Every appliance and plug was kitchen counter level or higher. Most of the appliances were on top of the refrigerator in those days.

I remember being little and wanting to see my mom cook and things, but could never see that high. I felt immediately sorry for Jun when he looked up trying to see. So against my friend's wishes, I carried him in my right arm often while I did kitchen work.

One time I boiled something in the microwave and as I took out the bowl, Jun suddenly reached out and tried to grab the bowl, putting his fingers in the watery part. Without thinking, I had his hand under running cold water in a split second. I am actually slow and methodical about everything, but luckily I handled these emergencies quickly and well. Jun received no burn blisters or anything.

This actually helped a lot for our last day together. I took him to the park and I was walking him home in the stroller. The Waikiki sidewalk has artistic cobblestones. Nice to look at, but bumpy for something on wheels. As soon as we crossed the smooth street crosswalk, I heard Jun crying. Apparently he had bit his tongue because the sidewalk was so bumpy. I picked him up and talked him into keeping his arms around my neck. Then I pushed the stroller with one hand and him in my right arm. By the time we were near my friend's building, he had stopped crying. He could trust I would take care of him and so he wasn't afraid.

Well, these were all the bad times. The rest were good times. Before he could walk, I exercised his legs a lot. Pushing one knee up towards his chest and feeling him push back. Later I would lie on my back and have him stand on my chest while I looked up at him and smiled. His legs got so strong so quickly. When he did walk, he crawled at my friend's floor for about a week only. At my place, he preferred to grab at the netting of his cradle and walk around and around it.

Oh, there was one more scary time. I was laying on my side on the futon while I watched him begin his journey again. Inexplicably, I dozed off. Could have been a minute, could have been a quite a few minutes. When I woke up, my first thought was Jun. There he was sleeping with me with his head on my thigh. I thanked God for watching over us. Never did anything like lie down watching him again.

During the slow times, when he'd be playing/exploring on his own, I put on DVDs to keep me alert. Two of my collections were Friends, with Jennifer Aniston, Lisa Kudrow, etc., and the other was Great Queen Seonduk, whose villainess was Lady Misil. He never watched any of the shows, but whenever an episode would begin, he'd come running to hear the music and see the dancing or whatever. As soon as that part ended, and the show was starting, he'd lose interest and go back to what he was doing. That was Jun. He loved music and dancing, hated words and talking.

When I come home at night, when it is dark, I remember my early morning walks with Jun. He was 6 months old, about 2 weeks after my friend and I got him, that my friend went up to the mainland to get the rest of his things. She was on standby and it was Thanksgiving to Christmas season. Her two night visit turned into eleven.

I was afraid to take Jun out too often. If he got sick, I wasn't sure if the papers I was given stating that I had Jun's traveling guardian's permission to watch him would hold up in a worst case scenario very well. It was a looooong way off from being the baby's mother. So for walks, I would fasten him in the stroller and walk him around my apartment, especially my backroom. Once every morning, with him all bundled up, I'd take him out on my front balcony for fresher air. Usually, I would carry him in my arms all bundled up in his blanket so he could get a good view. I live on the third floor.

I am naturally afraid of heights and visions of Michael Jackson doing what he did to his baby kept popping into my head. I always stood one step away from the balcony edge with Jun close to me. But it was enough for Jun to see the trees, the soft moving traffic in the distance, and hear the birds chirping. I don't know if Jun could recognize the tall buildings or the mountains in the distance, but I hoped he could. A year later he could recognize big busses.

So every time I come home and see the building balcony porchlight, I am reminded of my 5am walks with Jun. They were so peaceful.

The first night I got Jun, he was so afraid being away from home. I remembered my friend telling me that the first night she had Jun on the mainland, he kept crying until she held him in his arms for hours until he went to sleep. Same thing happened to me. Eventually I hit on the idea of holding him while sitting in my swivel chair and slowly swaying side to side. I had no rocking chair but the swivel chair did the trick. I was deathly afraid of nodding off in the chair with Jun in my arms so I put on DVDs and watched movies while Jun slowly went to sleep.

Eventually he got used to my home and would fall asleep with me in my bed. Took a bit longer when he'd fall asleep in his crib, but I would ALWAYS need to be in eyesight. If he woke up, and I was say, taking a shower, he'd start screaming bloody murder. I think he had abandonment issues throughout his babyhood. It continued throughout his early childhood.

This was one of his few weaknesses. Another was somewhere he had a bad experience with steam. If he saw the kettle boiling, he'd whisper, "Hot!". He understood the word "hot" before bad, mommy, daddy, and Jambies. In fact, I am pretty sure those were the first five words he learned, though not the real meanings.

Hot and bad were synonymous to him. May have been my fault. I would point and say "hot, bad!" That is how he learned bad. Mommy he knew and understood, but daddy to him meant either play, or pick me up because I'm afraid. Whenever he got afraid, he'd come running to me or my friend with his arms outstretched and say daddy. But if he was okay and just wanted to be picked up, he'd hold out his arms and say mommy.

Jambies is a bit of a long story. My friend has a thick accent and cannot pronounce the z in Zombies. A few months before Jun, she brought back a computer game called Plants vs Zombies, but pronounced it Jambies. The name stuck.

Later, when Jun was over at my apartment, while my friend was on my old desktop playing Jambies and her driver/friend, one of Jun's "uncles", on the laptop, I was with Jun. Jun and I were dancing and I made up the song, "Jambies to the left, Jambies to the right, Jambies UP all night. Yaaaay, Jambies!" Of course, when I got to the UP, I lifted Jun a bit higher. Think it was doing things like this that made Jun a dancer at age one. So everyone was having fun doing Jambies.

Months later, my friend would tell me that when she and Jun went to sleep at night, and she was on her iPad playing Jambies, Jun would get up half asleep with his finger pointed trying to tap the iPad screen ...

Jun loved the iPad, one hundred percent hated the computer, because of the mouse. He never liked the mouse. I once let him use an old wireless mouse and he played with it for about 5 seconds. Crazy tapper ...

Lots of times when I'm in my building going up or down the elevator, I think about Jun. Jun had quite an eye for the ladies, especially blondes. He'd put on quite a show to get women stranger's attention and it invariably worked. They loved him.

But I also noticed he did not care for children, men, pets, or, and get this, not so good looking old women. Late twenties to late fortyish looking were the only ones he'd literally flirt with. When my blond tennis friend came over, he went absolutely gaga running to her with his arms outstretched. They never met before.

I remember once there was a DVD show, "Heroes", in which a pretty thirtyish blonde mom (Ali Lauter?) was doing a stripdance. (Totally PG-13 of course.) Jun dropped what he was doing and came running to the TV screen for a better look. I wondered if it was just a fluke and did a little "research". I waited for Jun to be all wrapped up playing something and replayed that DVD while observing him.

Yes, the music alerted him to look at the TV, but it was when the blonde lady started dancing that he came running up to the TV screen! Not even one years old then and he was already a ladykiller with his eye for the ladies and his killer moves. Oh, ... and his moves!!

Sometimes he'd smile at the lady and then try to hide his face and then peek with a bigger smile. ALL the women he flirted with died for that one! And, well, actually, I taught him that one! I played hide and seek with him while he was in the cradle. Can't remember what other things he did, but he had all his women laughing, smiling, and swooning over his adorable baby looks, haha! I hope I didn't create a heartbreaker ...

Third mommy absolutely adored him. Trouble was, she had two full-time jobs AND a boyfriend to keep her busy. But still, she made babysitting time for Jun. Everytime she had a day off, she got first dibs on Jun. I often went to the park near where she worked and she'd take home Jun right after work. No one loved him more. I loved Jun second most by far. But for Jun, he only remembered my friend, really, because that was his mom then. Third mommy and me ended up more like daycare playmates.

Jun had to be one of the richest orphans ever. 3 cribs, 3 strollers, 3 carriers, 2 car seats, 3 mommies plus the original, countless uncles and aunts, countless toys, diapers, bottles, and food everywhere, and 3 wardrobes. Not to mention apartments.

He didn't like laundry time. I tried going downstairs to the laundromat with him in my carrier and later in his stroller. Both times he did not like it. Eventually I would do the floors when he was over and the laundry when he was with first mom. He did not mind so much watching me sweep and mop from his crib for some reason, but he would not play with his toys then. Only difficult part was with the bathroom floor but as long as I banged things around and stuck my head out every few seconds, he wouldn't cry. I guess he just needed to know I was there.

While third mommy and I spoiled him by picking him up and carrying him all the time, first mommy spoiled him changing diapers. She is so dexterous and fast that she could literally slap on his diaper with him crawling around. I had the hardest time with him changing his diaper.

Another thing she spoiled him was that whenever she used the restroom, and she like to spend lengthy times on the throne with her iPad, she would allow him with her. So whenever I had to use the restroom, he literally had to stand on my lap hugging me.

But one thing we made a game of. After we finished and was out in the hall, he did not want to go back to the parlor. So I would pick him up and close the hall door. On the hall door, I had lots of ornaments and things hanging. I could tell by the way he was gesturing and smiling that those things were new-found, hard-to-reach treasure. So everytime as a reward for coming out of the hallway, I would pick him up and we would look at the ornaments and things and I would ask, "This one? That one?" He tried them all but his favorite was a little flashlight he could carry in his hand. And he would play with each of these treasures twice as long as his toys.

He may have remembered the flashlight. First night he came over, I turned out the lights and turned the flashlight on the ceiling as we lay on the futon. Sort of like a searchlight shining into the clouds during carnival events.

I feel it is important to keep a baby's mind active and curious. And Jun showed remarkable intelligence at such an early age. But he was never verbal. Maybe too much languages. Maybe an inherent trait.

His favorite toy was not a bought one. I put a golf ball inside one of his emergency milk bottle cans. They're made of the durable but soft plastic, perfect for toddlers. We did all sorts of things with it, kicking it around like a soccer ball, spinning it, picking it up and shaking it for the noise, rolling it across the floor, all sorts of things. His second favorite toy was his car that had big buttons to press and make sounds, like numbers, ABC's, and lights.

Another fun game we played together was the cellphone. His uncle showed us that. Cellphone was about all the uncle had on him and so he used that to keep Jun busy. So I explored the phone with Jun, particularly ringtones. I had one downloaded song for my friend and he eventually recognized that song meant his first mommy was on the phone and soon to be downstairs. As much as he enjoyed me, he always wanted to be home with his first mom above all else.

Sometimes I slept over and I would sleep with him in the big bed while my friend slept out on the living room couch. We were still afraid of him crawling off the bed so we used to build a wall of stuffed animals around him.

At my home, I had a big futon put on the floor. Also, he would sleep next to the wall with cushions while I slept on the outside. Still, once, when I went to use the restroom, he managed to crawled off of it. Luckily the drop is only about two inches. He didn't even wake up.

After I woke up in the morning and he was still napping, I'd lie down with him on the couch. Having just woken up, no way I'd fall asleep and take a chance. Later, I got rid of the couch and just had everything low to the ground. This was when he started to climb the couch.

He also had a booster seat for dining that I got afraid of him growing out of. The instructions on the box said till 4-7 years old but by about 8-10 months I stopped using it. I think he was a big boy. Anyway, I set up his dining room table low, too. 20 lb. plastic bag cut open and placed like a picnic blanket on the floor and then strapped him into his sturdy car seat. That, too, did not last long. First mommy was allowing him to play and eat. He would play, come to her for a bite out of her plate, then go back play, etc. I did not like that idea either, but I followed my friend's lead whenever possible.

But I had to adjust and I forgot in the beginning. I made a plate for myself and his baby cereal. He hardly touched his cereal but took a bite from my plate before going back to play. By the time he came back to me, I'd already done eating. He was so disappointed and I felt so bad having eaten up all my food. Changed my eating habits after that. I just hope he doesn't get into trouble in school, but I could never argue with my friend about anything.

His intelligence in recognizing things was astonishing. Yet, he hardly said a word. Only word he pronounced very clearly was "hot!". I have no idea how he is doing now, but I think I did my job with him physically and mentally. We think we created a football player, lol! Just verbally and socially I am worried. But he does know how to smile!!

And he has a good attitude. At the park, he tried to make friends with a little blonde girl toddler. Total rejection! The little baby girl was not yet into boys, for sure. She physically pushed him away. He did not retaliate, just stared at her stunned. So I picked him up and took him to another part of the play area and he soon forgot everything. Only time I ever saw him try to make friends with a child his age and he got rejected and took it well. That was after he was one year old and just about to leave us.

I still have many of his things in my apartment. His crib, his stroller, etc. Play shirt I cut up to fit on his old teddy bear. That one had gotten its fur damaged and I bought him a bigger, better one for his birthday. I also kept the papers given to me and even some of his baby bottles, but not regular kind. We donated the good ones to his preschool. I also have his Japanese fan. It was a gift to me from my sister and early on I entertained him by opening and closing it one handed. Seems it was as much fun for him to watch as the flashlight. And like the flashlight, it was perfect size for him to grab and hold.

Jun before 6 months. First week or so when we got him.

Jun at his first birthday.

Jun at 1 year, 4 months. Day before he went back.

Cheryl

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