Giving Mittens A Taste Of Her Own Medicine

For legal reasons, this is a joke. 

Chess.com's latest addition to chess bots, Mittens, has been storming the chess world. It is no secret that Mittens with her whopping one singular Elo is absolutely annihilating every mortal on the planet. That's why there has been some rumors about her very existence. Is she the devil?  Is she the creator of the game? Is the architect of the matrix? or Is she using external assistance for her games?
Unfortunately, we have yet to have any answers. The only fact we have is that nobody saw Magnus Carlsen and Mittens together in the same room.

This feisty little, I hope, creature forcibly took my pieces, furiously checkmated my king. I've already submitted a fair play complaint to higher authorities and requested a full check as she either sandbagging or using external assistance, which are both against Chess.com's community policy.
Then it suddenly struck me, if nobody is able to beat this evil kitten, is she capable of beating herself?
Like every sensible person, I tried this so you don't have to:

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