Why More Moms Should Play Chess
Ask any mom what she wants the most at the end of the day, and you will most likely hear: “Quiet time, please!” Adding chess to a mother’s full plate might not sound sensible, but, if at all possible, some amazing benefits can be discovered in doing so.
As mothers, we devote ourselves to our children financially, emotionally, physically, and mentally, often losing ourselves in the process. Yet, motherhood is one of the best, most rewarding experiences in the world! And it doesn’t need to end in a checkmate.
The trick is to find that sweet balance between family and career obligations, health, social life, and our own self-care. So, as a devoted mother and a chess enthusiast myself, I invite you to explore why more moms should consider taking up chess and how to fit it into our demanding schedules.
1. Bonding: Chess is a great intellectual activity to bond over with our children. What sets it aside from many popular family games such as Snakes and Ladders or Monopoly is the vast range of invaluable skills that all the players gain from chess—problem-solving, time management, memory improvement, better focus, etc. The list goes on.
2. Nourishing that “mommy brain”: Sleep deprivation, fatigue, hormonal changes, and a “bundle of joy” on our hands change our brain chemistry. Mothers often experience this foggy state of mind and a shift in memory and attention to certain things, sometimes in not-so-glamourous ways. One of my mom-friends once ran out of her home with a stroller and forgot to put on her skirt! While playing chess is not necessarily a solution, it is a great way to sharpen that memory, focus, and attention to detail. Chess is the fuel for the brain, and it can ground us back with practice.
3. Inspiration: How many moms have you or your kids seen around playing chess? I bet not too many. But when children see a mom playing chess, they are often surprised. “I wish my mom played chess” is something I’ve heard several times from children at chess tournaments and elsewhere. Personally inspired by my own mother’s mastery of the game, I hope to be an eternal inspiration to my children as well.
4. Self-development: Chess is amazing because it hones all the important skills needed to navigate motherhood, as mentioned above. In addition, it cultivates patience, resilience, and creativity—all necessary skills for tasks as simple as brushing our children’s teeth! Chess also reminds us that setbacks and learning from mistakes are inevitable. We have to be quick to forgive ourselves, learn, and move on because no matter what we do, we will never be perfect moms!
5. Fewer words, more action: I have days, especially when my kids are home (but a few hours of this is plenty) when it seems like all I do is: answer my children’s endless questions and requests, listen repeatedly to their PJ Masks stories (followed by a sudden verbal pop-up quiz!), solve their disputes over a squishy, educate and instill wisdom in them, negotiate, negotiate, negotiate, ask, no beg, them to do something, raise my voice, lower my voice, whisper, sing, yell, shout … words, words, words! At the end of such days, all speech eludes me. I can’t read, write, listen, or watch TV. But, my brain still craves intellectual downtime. That’s where chess comes in, even if it’s just puzzles. It’s a perfect stimulating and quiet activity without words. Who knows this feeling, moms?
6. Quiet time: Speaking of quietude—even in a social setting, where you can be surrounded by hundreds of people, such as in a tournament, chess never fails to provide that much-needed silence, in a stimulating setting at the same time!
7. Meet a variety of people outside of the “mommy” circle: Playing chess socially, outside our homes, provides an incredible opportunity to meet diverse people from all walks of life. Since I became a mother, most of the new people I have met are moms just like me. My social life simply began to revolve around my children’s playdates and extra-curricular activities. However, since I picked up (social) chess over two years ago, I have met such incredible and interesting people of different ages, genders, and careers that I would have never met otherwise—what a delightful spice to life!
8. Empowerment: We all know that chess is still a predominately male-dominated game. But by picking up chess, we can change the stereotypes and be role models for our daughters, encouraging them not to be intimidated by typically male-driven fields and careers. This will also change whatever preconceptions our sons have regarding gender differences.
9. Empty nest: And just like that, one day, our children will suddenly grow up and leave our home! Our jobs will end with retirement, and we will suddenly have plenty of time to ourselves! And then what? That is why it’s important to invest in a hobby today so that we will have something going on for us on those lonelier days, including an established social network of chess enthusiasts!
The added benefit of chess is that we can play it no matter our age and physical abilities. We can even play chess with our partner, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren for our entire lives. And let’s not forget the incredible benefits of chess on cognitive abilities as we age!
10. Chess is fun: What else can I say? Try it for yourself!
11. Bonus for single moms: Chess is a great way to meet plenty of men and single dads! In fact, this is how I met my husband! I wasn’t a single mom; I was just single, but still…
Fathers too, although I’ve never met a dad who forgot to put on his pants while rushing out of home with a stroller, will highly benefit from chess, in similar ways that moms would. A beer-and-chess night out, anyone?
For added inspiration, look no further than the remarkable story of Cibele Florencio—a single mom, who worked 12 hours a day as a maid in Brazil and pursued chess in between. She became so good that she qualified for the World Rapid and Blitz Chess Championship in Poland, attracting media attention and sponsorship. As a result, she was able to 'upgrade' to a better, more stable job and experience a more fulfilling life.
Amazing and unexpected adventures await us when we embrace the game!
How To Fit Chess In
Incorporating chess into our bustling schedules might be tricky, but consider these suggestions:
- First thing in the morning before the children (and husband) rise.
- When everyone is finally asleep.
- While waiting at soccer or ballet practices.
- While sitting next to our children for moral support as they tackle homework.
- On the way to work if you take public transit.
- During playdates if we can engage other moms (or dads).
- Simply pencil it in and tell everyone: “It’s mommy time!”
- And, of course, with our family whenever possible.
Can't fit chess in? Not a problem. Despite the appearance, chess is not all black and white. Or, rather, it's not an 'all or nothing' commitment. As our children grow and their needs change, the degree of our involvement will change as well. At times, we will be so swamped and tired that there will indeed be no room for chess in our lives. At other times, we'll have plenty! Like motherhood, chess is a journey. But, unlike motherhood, it's a train that we can hop on and off as best suits our circumstances and it will always be there. So, bon voyage!
Parting Notes
Dear moms, as any flight attendant would tell you: “First, put the oxygen mask on yourself, and then on the person [including your child or husband] next to you.” Above all, whatever that “oxygen mask” is for you, I wish you all the best in your motherhood journey! I hope this article has inspired some of you to take up chess and I hope to see more of you enjoy this wonderful game.
Resources
Chess.com: Provides a rich arsenal of online lessons for any level, as well as opportunities to play whenever you like.
Chessable: In-depth, specific coverage of all aspects of chess from openings to endgames.
Chessmood.com: In addition to lessons, students here can tap into a study plan and eliminate the guesswork.
Chess.com/coaches: Look for a coach in your area, or anywhere online for private lessons. Tip: online coaches, especially from overseas, are often more affordable.
